Sunday, November 15, 2009

There's always gonna be another mountain...

"i'm always gonna wanna make it move.
Always gonna be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose..."

So I am in the middle of writing a critical analysis essay on The Climb, and I think the universe is trying to inspire me...although I wish it wouldn't. I was supposed to go to NC this weekend to see my family, whom I haven't seen in more than a year, but I didn't get the time off work. Although, my boss said if i could trade shifts with people, it would be fine. Being at Customer Service though, there are only 5 of us total to trade with. So, I got all of my shifts covered...except for one. Saturday...the freaking middle of my trip. WTF!?!?

I am absolutely exhausted these days, and I need that break. But nope...just another lost battle. So now I will continue with my 30hr work week, and continue going to school full time. I am physically and emotionally drained, and I can't help but wonder how much longer I will last like this. It's al way too much. I can't handle this.

And to top it all off, my parents say I need to get a life and go out more. When exactly should I get a life?! I get up between 6 and 7 every morning, 7 days a week, go to school until 2:45 and then work 3-11 5 days a week. When do I get time to sit down and breathe, let alone do hw, do chores, "get a life", or even sleep? I don't have that kinda time. I'm sooo stressed, that just writing this, I'm having a breakdown.

But I think what pisses me off the most, is that I take shifts whenever I am called. If I'm not in school or already scheduled, I'll cover any shift they need. I never miss shifts, I'm never late, I get along with everyone, but the one time I need someone to cover for me, there's no one in sight. Its a freakin ghost town. What the fuck EVER...I'm just done caring. I guess it only gets worse from here.